Fully Refunded
by Empress-Eerian-Sadow
Summary: Post season 7. AUSpike returns and things finally start to go right again for Buffy. Mostly. Definately a crossover fic with Angel. Work in Progress R&R!
1. Prologue

A/N: I started this fic literally five minutes after I saw the series finale of Buffy. I know its AU. I had all summer before Angel started up in the fall to work on it tho. And I'm not letting Angel cannon ruin my lovely fic. THis is how I would have brought back Spike in my Buffyverse. And for those of you who don't understand the Lucy Hannover refrence (don't worry, she's not in the first couple of chapters), pick up some of the B:TVS comics by Dark Horse comics or the B:TVS novels. She's instrumental in a couple of those. Can't remember which ones, of course. But it wouldn't be too hard to find out. Anyway! Enjoy the fic!  
  
Eerian  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

_**One Month Earlier**_  
  
They'd finally decided to go to L.A.  
  
Angel needed to know what had happened--that The First had been beaten and the Hellmouth gone. That they wouldn't be needing that second front after all.  
  
That Spike was dead.  
  
That's what hurts the most, she thought, looking down at her sleeping sister. Not losing our home, or never being able to visit mom's grave again. Not even Anya…  
  
_God, Spike I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't realize it until too late.  
  
I really did love you.  
_  
Buffy rested her head against Dawn's and tried to think of things that didn't remind her of Spike.  
  
Giles drove the bus full of exhausted Slayers on to L.A. in silence, pretending not to notice that he saw his Slayer crying in the rearview mirror. 


	2. Chapter 1: Awareness

A/N: Apologies right now for all of you who get confused by my time shifts. Its a writing technique I saw used once by one of my favorite authors (props to Peter David!) and I've used it in the past to good effect. Hope you can keep up, but if not, I'll be sorry to see you go. Enjoy!

Eerian

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now_**  
  
The first thing he was aware of was the rain.  
  
It was cold, seeping into his clothes and making his duster feel heavy on his arms.  
  
Then he became aware of the mud.  
  
It was also cold, and seeping into his clothes and duster.  
  
He had a rueful thought: _All that demon blood and slime, and it's the mud that's gonna finally do_ _it in._ He chuckled, briefly amused at the thought. His chuckle turned into a scream as he remembered.  
  
Falling. For a long time.   
  
And then, hitting the ground. And pain.  
  
Then he remembered where he'd fallen from, and how he'd gotten there. Loss stabbed a dagger deep into his heart at the memory. _This must be what she felt when they pulled her out of heaven,_ he thought.  
  
_She who?_ He couldn't quite remember.  
  
He knew she'd been there in the cavern with him at the end--or nearly the end. He'd made her leave. She'd touched him before she left him, and said something he hadn't believed, but the memory eluded him.  
  
Who is she? He knew she was important, knew she'd made his last couple of years on earth bearable, but he couldn't remember who she was.  
  
I know I loved her…  
  
Suddenly he heard her in his head, and remembered what she said: _"I love you."  
  
"No you don't," he'd replied calmly. "But thanks for sayin' it."  
_  
She'd looked like she was going to cry, and he felt guilt stab its icy fingers in his heart at the memory. Guilt at having hurt the only thing in his unlife he'd truly loved, unconditionally and without reason.  
  
He began to weep. _God, I'm so sorry…  
  
Buffy…_


	3. Chapter 2: Slayer Visions

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_One week ago_**  
  
Buffy realized that she was dreaming when she found herself in a club, listening to Dingoes Ate My Baby playing one of Devon's songs and watching Oz pull of a perfect E-flat Diminish Nine cord (not that she really knew what that was, she mostly just remembered Willow saying something about him wanting to perfect that one, so there he was). As she listened, she realized that she hadn't even seen Devon since Oz left Sunnydale, and briefly wondered what had happened to the singer. Then she blinked and Oz was sitting across the table from her and someone else was on stage.  
  
"So," he said, "The Hellmouth's gone."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Oz's intense gaze met hers. "Was it worth the price?"  
  
Buffy shook her head. "I'm not sure. I hope so."  
  
The werewolf nodded. "Yeah. But what if they gave refunds?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Oz pointed behind her, and Buffy turned.  
  
Spike was standing just behind her, wearing muddied clothes, and a torn, muddy duster. "Hello, cutie."  
  
"Spike…" her voice was a bare whisper.  
  
He kissed her, briefly, then he was gone. Buffy turned back to Oz. "Where did he go?"  
  
"Where all the lost souls go."  
  
The blond slayer snapped awake, and did her best to extinguish the hope that rose in her heart. 


	4. Chapter 3: Dead's Council

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Last night  
_**  
"Willow…"  
  
The red haired witch snapped awake at the sound of her name. She looked around the room, searching for the source.   
  
Her eyes found the ghost of Lucy Hanover and she smiled. "Lucy, hi!" she whispered, careful not to wake her girlfriend.  
  
The ghost smiled in return. "It has been some time Willow. It is good to see you again." She sighed. "I need your help."  
  
The witch shrugged. "With what? I'll help however I can."  
  
"First, you have to promise not to tell Buffy until we're done…"

* * *

**_Last Night_**  
  
Willow silently thought over what Lucy had asked for her help with and decided that the 18th century Slayer had finally gone insane after all her years on the Ghost Roads.  
  
"It should be simple enough for a Wicca of your power," she had said.  
  
And maybe after resurrecting Buffy a year and a half ago, and activating all the Slayers in the world, it would be. But it still sounded completely insane, and Lucy had a hard time convincing her to do it. Finally the ghost Slayer had taken the young Wicca to the Ghost Roads themselves to convince her.  
  
She had known where they were going--to see Spike. And the sight of the Ghost Roads didn't surprise her with their grey monotony; she'd been there before. But when they reached their destination, the sight that greeted her, rocked her to the very core of her being. And Willow understood why she had to help the ghost Slayer in this quest.  
  
Spike sat on the mist shrouded ground, holding the faint outline of another person's spirit. After a moment, Willow recognized Buffy, her spirit broken and lifeless as she'd been after her leap from Glory's tower. Tara knelt just behind him, a comforting arm around his shoulders and tears glistening in her own spectral eyes.  
  
"Oh, Goddess," Willow whispered. "Tara's lost." She thought the sight of her lost lover comforting Buffy's would rip her heart from her chest.  
  
Tara heard Willow's whisper and looked up. She smiled briefly at the woman who had been her lover in life, then bent to whisper to Spike. The vampire didn't even acknowledge the Wicca as she got up to join Lucy and Willow.  
  
"I'm not lost, Willow." Tara was a beautiful as Willow remembered her. "I help Lucy now. I help lost souls leave their baggage so that Lucy can lead them to their destinations."  
  
She turned back to look at the soul of the vampire who had been her friend so long ago. "That's what's wrong with Spike. He latched onto the shadow of Buffy that our spell left behind and won't let go. He just stares at it like he's waiting for it to open its eyes and be her."  
  
"Maybe he is." Willow's voice was choked with emotions that she'd thought she was long past. She bit her lip and tried to stop the tears that leaked from her eyes. If it was her in Spike's place and that was Tara's spectral shadow--Kennedy or no--she knew she'd be doing the same thing.  
  
Tara waited for her former girlfriend to pull herself together before continuing. "He loves her so much, Willow, that he can't make himself let her go. But if he doesn't he can't move on to his reward--and he does have one."  
  
Carefully Tara wrapped her hands around Willow's. "Help us to help him."  
  
Willow knew she was lost as soon as Tara asked. She would still do anything for her lost love--even if it cost her life. And this wouldn't, she knew. Even if the Powers That Be stripped her of all her powers and forced her to walk the Ghost Roads alone for eternity, she would do this for Spike--and Buffy. She would give her friend back the love she'd had but been too blind to see until the end.  
  
"All, right. Let's do this."

* * *

After Willow and Lucy left the Ghost Roads, the ghost lead her to a book shop that was open late, specialized in the occult, and had the tome they needed. According to the spell, the only component they'd need was something that had belonged to the deceased.   
  
It seemed odd to Willow that one little personal item held the power to remind the dust of a vampire what state it was supposed to be in, but magic wasn't always what you expected. But she knew that Buffy had Spike's lighter. Where she'd gotten it, she didn't know, but Buffy fidgeted with it when she was feeling lonely.  
  
After paying the shopkeeper for the book, the ghost and the witch headed back to the Hyperion.   
  
By two AM she'd employed Dawn's long dormant thieving skills to lift the lighter from Buffy's bedside table while the Slayer slept. Dawn told her that Angel had seen her sneaking back out, but the two really didn't care--this was much more important than his anger.  
  
Angel, of course, chose that moment to walk into Dawn's room and demand to know what was going on.  
  
At two forty-five he was helping the girls cast the spell that would reconstitute Spike's body from the rubble of Sunnydale, and bring some measure of happiness to the girl that had been --impossibly--the one true love of two very different vampires.  
  
A few minutes before four AM the souled vampire was sneaking the lighter back into Buffy's room with tears in his eyes. He knew he'd be missing his Slayer forever after Spike came back.  
  
"Goodbye, Buffy." he whispered. "I'll always love you."  
  
The Slayer had murmured in her sleep, but hadn't woke. 


	5. Chapter 4: Gifts among the Dead

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now--4:00 PM  
_**  
Angel had left Willow a note and an envelope full of money with instructions to buy clothes for Spike. So the Wicca grabbed Dawn and took off for the mall. The two nearly died as they counted the money during the bus ride.  
  
Angel had left them over four thousand dollars to spend on the younger vampire. Inside the envelope, was a second note, telling them to hang onto some of it, in case Spike needed a new duster.  
  
Considering how much the two vampires had disliked each other, the girls were more than surprised at Angel's generosity.  
  
Dawn had displayed a surprising knowledge about Spike as they shopped, knowing his sizes--down to the shoes and belt--and exactly which brand of jeans he liked best. They spent three hours picking out clothes for the him. Dawn insisted that at least some of them be his staple black shirt and black jeans. The rest, they agreed, would be a much wider variety--giving everyone else something to look at besides black. Dawn discovered the last of the winter clearance and with that find they were able to spend far less than half their money, leaving the rest to the duster fund.  
  
Leaden with sacks, they re-boarded the bus, heading for a Holiday Inn Express that Willow had noticed on their way to the mall. She thought--and Dawn agreed--that someplace away from Angel's hotel would be best for reintegrating the vampire with the world of the living. The girls reserved a room for a week, then headed back to the Hyperion to wait for Lucy to come get them.   
  
Then it would be time to bring Spike back to Buffy.

* * *

A/N: Just so you know, in my world, Angel is richer than God and just made the crew at Angel Investigations suffer through all those hard times to make them appreciate things more.


	6. Chapter 5: Dead's Salvation

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Two Hours Ago_**  
  
When the ghost of Lucy Hanover led him to a rain drenched, and very familiar, redheaded young woman, Spike really couldn't have been much more surprised.  
  
"Goddess, Spike. It really is you…" The redhead looked torn between wanting to cry, and wanting to hug him, both of which he knew weren't normal reactions for this woman--at least not in relation to him. He dug in his rattled mind for her name.  
  
"Well of course its me. How many other vampires would be crazy enough to be in a bloody crater in the rain?"  
  
"Dunno. But let's get you out of it, shall we?" She made a gesture and some kind of portal opened in front of them. She gestured to him. "You first."  
  
As he stepped through, a few more of his scattered memories clicked into place. The woman was Willow. The lesbian witch. He usually called her Red.  
  
Which he did now, as he took stock of his new surroundings. "Hey, Red?"  
  
"Yeah, Spike?" She followed him through and closed the portal.  
  
"Where are we?" The grey, misty landscape faded to nothing at the ends of his vision, and a cobblestone road lay at his feet.  
  
"These are the Ghost Roads. This is how we're getting you back to Buffy."

* * *

**_One Hour Ago  
_**  
"Here, Spike, put these on." Willow opened the bathroom door enough to set some clothes down on the sink. "Don't worry, I won't watch or anything." She blushed as she realized that he'd just climbed out of the shower in the motel room she'd rented him, and that she'd already gotten the free show.  
  
The vampire quickly grabbed a towel and saved what dignity she had left. Then he glanced over at the clothes. "Thanks, Red."  
  
The witch left the room, still blushing, and he took stock of the clothes. Black jeans, belt, black button front…silk(?!) shirt. She'd spent a pretty penny on that--he could smell that the material was still new. That was sweet of her. He hadn't had anything this nice in a while, although he probably would have preferred to have a plain t-shirt instead.  
  
He toweled dry and put his pants on, then combed his hair out so he wouldn't leave any water spots on his shirt. He pulled the shirt on, savoring the feel of the silk against his skin--it reminded him of Buffy for some reason--and carefully buttoned it up. Then he tucked it in, put his belt on, and stepped out of the bathroom.  
  
Willow smiled at him. A real, genuine smile--not one of those, I'm smiling because Buffy likes you smiles. "Spike, you look great." She walked over and straightened his collar. "I got you something to eat too. Its there on the table. Lucy and I have to go get Buffy now. Do you need anything else first?"  
  
"No, I'm good , Red. Thanks"  
  
"OK. I'll see you later then." She turned to the door.  
  
"Willow!"   
  
The witch turned back. "Yeah?"  
  
"Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Love." 


	7. Chapter 6: Drowning in Sorrows

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now  
_**  
Angel had helped her with the insurance claims on the house, and she'd gotten the check today. She'd even taken his advice and deposited a good portion of it some kind of money saving account--she didn't really remember what kind just now.  
  
The bottle of Vodka she and Xander were sharing was helping that along quite nicely.  
  
They'd been so busy getting affairs in order and helping the girls settle in at the hotel--which Angel had said they could use indefinitely--that they'd lost all opportunity to grieve over their losses. Today, it was raining over most of the state of California and Buffy had decided that the rain equaled grieving day.  
  
Hence, the bottle of Vodka between herself and Xander.  
  
Vodka, just like Spike taught her to drink. _We decide to skip the beer and go straight for the hard stuff and look where it gets me. Even drunk it reminds me of the guy I'm trying to forget.  
  
God I miss him…  
_  
She knew that she and Xander were talking about Anya and Spike and how stupid the two of them had each been in not seeing what was right in front of them, but it was hard to focus on the conversation--and not just because of the alcohol. It was because she was totally alone again.  
  
She hadn't felt this alone since she'd sent Angel to Hell. Not even when she'd been pulled out of Heaven by her friends--Spike had been there for her through that. He'd been her anchor.  
  
And now he was gone, and she was adrift.   
  
Not even the alcohol was helping tonight. Not when she kept seeing him everywhere. In every black duster around every corner, the cover of that old Billy Idol album at the mall, the vampire nest she and Faith had dusted the night before. She heard him in every flick of a Zippo lighter and smelled him with every smoker she ran into on the street, even though he'd quit months ago.  
  
And now The First wasn't even around to conviently kick him out of hell and back to her. All she could do for him now, was hope that he wasn't in hell. If he was lucky, he was out walking the Ghost Roads with Lucy Hanover, and finding some peace with himself by not being a burden to the dead Slayer's self imposed mission.  
  
In the end, it didn't matter. Spike was well beyond her reach now, and all she could do was try to move on.  
  
Tomorrow.  
  
Buffy knocked back another shot of Vodka, and hoped that eventually she'd stop feeling for a while tonight. 


	8. Chapter 7: Ghosts and the Dead

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now_**  
  
He'd finally pulled himself to his feet after he'd finished crying over Buffy. He knew he needed to move on before sunrise. Not that he really wanted to be here; the place he'd been was much nicer than this. Not quite heaven, but not hell either, and definitely not those sodding ghost roads he'd heard about from the Scoobies. He knew it wasn't the greatest as far as eternal rewards went, but it had been better than earth, and a lot better than he deserved, and he'd like very much to go back there. But he didn't relish going out on a beam of sunshine again.  
  
He looked around, and realized he was standing at the bottom of a crater full of broken timber, steel girders and parts of cars. The mud and rainwater were also making a hell of and impression on how soon he needed to get out--having to dig his way out of a muddy grave once in a lifetime was more than enough.  
  
Problem was, he couldn't possibly climb the crater walls with all this rain either. He'd have to settle for high ground until everything dried out, and hope that he could find shelter from the sun in the process.  
  
He didn't know how much time had passed in his search, at least one hour, but possibly more--his time sense was off--but he was beginning to believe that there was no high ground to be found in the crater. And the rain seemed determined to wash a good portion of the countryside into the crater on top of him.  
  
Despair and hopelessness were just starting to set in when he thought he heard someone whisper his name. He whipped his head around sharply, but the driving rain cut his vision and he didn't see anyone. Chalking the event up to wishful thinking, he started picking through the rubble again.  
  
The second time, his name was accompanied by a cold touch on his shoulder.  
  
He yelped and whirled around to see his assailant--a young woman no older than Buffy drifting in the rain. He blinked rapidly several times when he realized she was a ghost. "What the bloody hell?"  
  
The ghost smiled. "Spike, my name is Lucy Hanover. I've come to escort you to your destiny." 


	9. Chapter 8: Friends

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now  
_**  
It was only midnight when they finished the bottle, and while neither Buffy nor Xander was as drunk as they'd like, the Slayer paid the tab and the two left the bar.  
  
She walked straight into Willow at the door. "Will? I thought you didn't want to come drinking with Xander and me tonight."   
  
Willow shook her head. "I don't. I mean I didn't." She pointed over her shoulder. "Lucy needs your help."  
  
"Oh." Buffy looked over her friend's shoulder. "Hi, Lucy. What's up this time?" She winced at the bitterness in her own voice.  
  
The ghost smiled as the group began to move off down the sidewalk. "Its nothing like that, Buffy. I just need you to help me with a small favor. No demon slaughter or saving the world involved."  
  
"Wouldn't Willow have been a better choice?" Xander was oblivious to Willow's efforts to quiet him.  
  
Lucy took it in stride. "She probably would, except that I need a Slayer's touch in addition to needing a friend. Buffy is both."  
  
"Oh." The alcohol and recent loss prevented him from coming up with something wittier.  
  
Willow grabbed this opportunity with both hands. She started guiding Xander back toward the hotel. "You two go take care of whatever business you need to take care of and I'll go put Xander to bed. Bye Lucy. See you later Buffy."  
  
The Slayer watched her two friends walk down the sidewalk with a bit of confusion. "That was weird." She shrugged. "Whatever. So where are we off to, Lucy?"  
  
"This way, Buffy." The twice-dead Slayer walked off down the sidewalk with the ghost of a Slayer as her guide.   
  
She didn't even notice that the rain had stopped finally. 


	10. Chapter 9: Stupid Duty

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now_**  
  
Lucy Hanover was quickly becoming a very agitated ghost.  
  
It wasn't Buffy's fault that they had been ambushed by a gang of vampires. And Lucy certainly wouldn't distract her from her calling to deal with them.  
  
But they were significantly slowing them down, and Buffy needed to get to the hotel before someone noticed that Willow and Dawn were not home; she didn't think that Angel could cover for them all night.  
  
Time was short, and Lucy would have to convince Buffy that walking wasn't the way to go.  
  
As the Slayer battled the vampires, Lucy drifted off to check the bus schedule. 


	11. Chapter 10: Love is Patient

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

_**Now**_  
  
Spike didn't know how long he'd been waiting for either the witch or the ghost to return, but Dawn had fallen asleep in the chair by the window while they'd waited. The girl must have come over while he was in the shower, because he'd noticed her sitting there after Willow left, and she hadn't been there before.  
  
She'd just stared at him, with those big eyes of hers for several seconds, then she broke into a smile that would rival that of any child on Christmas morning. Silently, he had regarded her, until she got up and hugged him. Then he, too, had smiled as he hugged the girl who was his Slayer's sister.  
  
"I'm so glad you're back, Spike," she had whispered. "We've missed you so much."  
  
Not I. We. _"We've missed you."  
_  
He was still contemplating that, while watching Dawn sleep, when someone knocked on the door. The noise woke Dawn, who mumbled sleepily, "Who's that?"  
  
"Dunno, Little Bit. Prob'ly just Red." He walked to the door. "Just go back to sleep until someone comes to drive you home."  
  
" 'Kay, Spike. Love you."  
  
_Did she just say that? What is it with Summers women?_ He looked out the peephole in the door, and felt the world drop out from under him.  
  
Buffy was standing outside, talking to someone he couldn't see, fidgeting with the hem of her jacket.  
  
_She's more beautiful than I remembered._ He swallowed._ God help me, I'm not sure I can do this alone._  
  
Then he took a deep breath and opened the door. 


	12. Chapter 11: Let Go

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Forty Five Minutes earlier  
_**  
Angel had dropped Dawn off with Spike's clothes after Willow had called and told them that he'd been brought safely to L.A. Impulsively, he'd hugged her before she got out of the car, and told her to call him if it looked like Spike was going to be any trouble. She'd smiled at him, and promised that she would, and got out to walk up to the room. She'd tossed a wave over her shoulder at him as she let herself into the room, and Angel had driven off.  
  
He didn't know where he was going, and didn't really care. He just knew that he wanted to be as far away from Spike as possible when Buffy found out he was alive.  
  
The joy that would be in her eyes would be too much to bear.  
  
He drove for what seemed like hours, and was surprised to find that he'd parked his car outside the hotel. He got out, and went silently inside. Dodging Faith and the other Slayers in the Lobby, he went up to Buffy's room.  
  
It was Spartan compared to her room back in Sunnydale. There were no posters on the walls, no candles, no pictures--not even that silly pig Mr. Gordo that she'd had forever. He'd gotten Buffy and Dawn both clothes, but noting to give their new "home" any personality.  
  
As he picked up one of her shirts from the floor, he felt briefly guilty about that. Then the guilt compounded itself as he realized he was jealous of Spike. He balled the shirt up in his hands and choked back the sorrow that tried to break free from his chest.  
  
"Angel?"  
  
He turned to see Faith framed in the doorway. "Yeah?"  
  
"You wanna talk about it?"  
  
He tried to put on his best nothing-the-matter-here face. "Talk about what?"  
  
The dark haired Slayer walked over to him and pried Buffy's shirt from his hands. "You wanna talk about whatever's eatin' you up inside?"  
  
Angel stared at his empty hands for a long moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I think I do. But let's drive while we talk." 


	13. Chapter 12: Rivers in Egypt

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now_**  
  
When the hotel room door opened, Buffy felt her world tip sideways and slide out from under her. She'd come here to help Lucy Hanover, not have some cruel joke played on her.  
  
She felt her knees go weak as she stared at some person who looked just like Spike. Naturally, she went into the first defense mode she could: denial.  
  
"No, you're not him." She turned to walk away. "Spike is dead. That can't be Spike."  
  
The Slayer heard Lucy call to her to wait, but ignored her, pretending that the ghost's voice had been too soft. She broke into a run, feeling the tears begin to flow down her face, and not wanting some stranger to see her cry.  
  
Blindly, she ran , for how long, she didn't know, before turning into a alley way that beckoned with its sheltering darkness. Besides, if Lucy wanted to try to convince her to go back to that room, she could find her wherever she went. She slid down a wall until she felt herself hit the ground, then let hurting, angry sobs rack her body.  
  
She didn't even feel the vampire enter the alley until he grabbed her hair and yanked her head up off her knees.  
  
"Well, well," he said, bending down to stare in her face with his feral yellow eyes. "Aren't you a pretty little thing. And all alone too." His breath was foul, reeking of dead things that Buffy didn't want to think about.  
  
Forcing back her sobs, Buffy managed to focus herself on the task at hand--however brief that may end up being. "Go away and leave me alone. You don't know who you're dealing with."  
  
The vampire laughed in her face. "You're no different than the last hundred girls I've killed this year. Except for you not being afraid that is."  
  
"Actually, mate, the Slayer's quite a bit different than any girl you've killed in you entire life."  
  
The vampire's eyes widened comically, and Buffy's breath caught in her throat at the sound of Spike's voice. If the vamp in from of her hadn't still been grasping her hair, she would have buried her face back in her hands, afraid to have her heart torn out again by the sight of the man who--impossibly--wore Spike's face. And now spoke in his voice.  
  
"Now, if you know what's good for you, you'll just let the Slayer go so that she can get on with her night. And we'll let you run away, and tell all your friends how you barely escaped with your life."  
  
As Buffy continued to be non-threatening, the vampire grew bolder, and turned to look over his shoulder. "No way. This kill's mine, Blondie."  
  
Spike shrugged, and pulled the crossbow he'd been hiding behind one leg into view. "Suit yourself." He was very glad that the witch had decided to leave it with him when she left.  
  
The other vampire was just getting up to confront him when Spike pulled the trigger and let the shaft of wood that served as the bow's quarrel fly into his heart. The vamp exploded into a cloud of dust that settled over an hysterical Buffy.  
  
Spike dropped the crossbow, and quickly moved to her side, grabbing her arms to keep her from running again. He and Lucy had had a hard enough time finding her this time, and he didn't want to do it again.  
  
She screamed when he touched her, and fought him like a cornered animal. Her hysterics became even more frantic, and Spike felt a sudden fear that Buffy had been driven insane by his sudden reappearance. He knew that he had to get her calmed down, and thinking rationally again. The first method that came to mind was one of those tricks that always worked in books and movies, but he'd never really been sure that it worked in real life.  
  
He let go of her arms and punched her. Hard.  
  
She stopped struggling and screaming so suddenly that he thought she had passed out at first. Then he realized she was looking at him.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that you look--and sound--just like someone I lost recently. And Lucy didn't warn me before I saw you and I wasn't prepared for that and--"  
  
"Buffy, its me." She stopped talking when he interrupted her, mouth open. "I didn't know that they hadn't told you."  
  
"Spike…? I don't believe it." She stood up straight and looking him square in the face. "Prove it."  
  
Spike's jaw dropped in disbelief. "**Prove it**? Bloody hell woman! I didn't make you "prove it" when your friends yanked you out of heaven did I?" Angrily he grabbed the crossbow and stormed out of the alley.  
  
Buffy ran after him, and grabbed his arm. "Spike wait."  
  
He stopped. "What is it Slayer? I hope its not more ranting and denial, because I left your sister alone in my hotel room."  
  
"I'm sorry. And I…Dawn knew?"  
  
"Yeah. Her and Red and Angel, if you can believe that." He reached out and pulled her into his arms, content just to hold her for a moment. Gently, he kissed the top of her head. "We need to get going, luv."  
  
She nodded. "I know. I just want to tell you before we go: I love you."  
  
He looked down into her teary eyes. "You know, I finally believe that now." He put an arm around her and gently led her back to the hotel. 


	14. Chapter 13: The Right Thing

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Two and A Half Hours ago  
_**  
It had been just after nine-thirty when Lucy finally came to get Willow from the Hyperion.  
  
The witch had told Dawn to wait for her to call, then get Angel to drive her to the Holiday Inn with some of the clothes they'd bought for Spike. Faith and all the younger Slayers were on patrol, so Willow didn't have to explain herself to anyone on her way out the door.  
  
When they hit the street, Willow broke into a run, racing to get to the spot where they'd determined that she could open a door to the Ghost Roads. She'd done the opening ritual so many times in high school--mostly during that crisis with the Gatekeeper in Massachusetts--that she breezed through it with barely a thought.  
  
The witch had known that Tara would be there when she stepped through the portal, but her heart still nearly stopped when she saw her. Tara smiled at Willow as she said, "He's in Sunnydale, like we thought he would be. He seems a little disoriented, but he's all right physically. Jenny and I have been watching him, to make sure nothing bad happened."  
  
Willow scrunched up her face in confusion. "Jenny? You mean Miss Calendar?" They started walking toward the ruins of Sunnydale.  
  
"Why are you so surprised, Willow?" Lucy looked puzzled. "You saw her here when you walked the Ghost Roads before with Xander."  
  
"Spike was just so bad, the last time Miss Calendar saw him. Its weird."  
  
Tara shrugged. "She told me that she still feels bad about what happened with Angel, when he lost his soul. It's why she's still here. I think that when she knows that Buffy and Angel both forgive her, she can move on."  
  
"Oh." Up ahead, Willow could see the thin spot in the walls between the "real world" and the Ghost Roads that indicated they were very near their destination. That didn't surprise her any, since she knew that a person could travel all the way to Europe in a matter of hours this way. Peering through the thin spot, was a dark haired woman.  
  
Willow recognized her immediately, and would have, even if she hadn't known that Jenny Calendar was going to be there. They reached her side a few moments later, and Willow had to resist the urge to hug the woman who had been both her teacher and friend, for fear of destroying her spiritual body along with her physical one.  
  
The Gypsy woman smiled when she saw the approaching trio. "Hello, Willow."  
  
"Hi." Willow smiled back. "How is he?"  
  
Jenny looked back through the portal. "He was unconscious for a while. Then he cried about something--I was too far away to make that out." She sighed. "Now it looks like he's trying to get out of the crater and can't. I think he might be in shock. Be careful with him Willow."  
  
Willow held up the crossbow she'd brought with her from the hotel. "Don't worry. I'm ready, if he's not our Spike."  
  
"Good." Lucy moved to the portal. "We need to get in there and get him, as quickly as we can."  
  
Willow nodded, resolve face painted on. "Then let's go."  
  
Carefully, she and Lucy stepped through the portal and into the ruins of the town where Willow had grown up.  
  
"Wait here," Lucy told her, just on the other side. "And keep this side of the portal open. I don't know if we'd be able to open it again otherwise, with the Hellmouth being gone. I'll go and get Spike."  
  
Willow nodded, and watched the ghostly Slayer drift away. She couldn't even see Spike from here, and didn't know how long it would take Lucy to get to him. She just hoped it wouldn't be long--the rain was cold, and the ruins of the city were shifting beneath her feet as she waited.  
  
It took Lucy ten minutes to bring a muddy, rain drenched and battered looking Spike to the portal.  
  
"Goddess, Spike. It really is you…" She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry or hug him--maybe all three. Somehow, even after managing to resurrect Buffy, she hadn't really believed she could bring Spike back right.  
  
"Well of course its me. How many other vampires would be crazy enough to be in a bloody crater in the rain?"  
  
"Dunno. But let's get you out of it, shall we?" She made a gesture and the portal that she'd be holding in state opened in front of them. She gestured to him. "You first."  
  
The vampire stepped through and looked around. "Hey, Red?"  
  
"Yeah, Spike?" She and Lucy followed him through and Willow closed the portal.  
  
"Where are we?"   
  
"These are the Ghost Roads. This is how we're getting you back to Buffy."  
  
"Sounds good to me." He looked around, and his eyes lit on Tara. "Tara?" The vampire looked confused.   
  
"But you were with me. I remember you talking to me. Why are you here?"  
  
"You were here, Spike." Tara looked sadly at him. "You were one of the lost souls that Lucy and I help."  
  
"I was lost?" Spike felt his knees go weak for a moment. "But it all felt so…so…bloody right. I was warm and loved and I even felt like Buffy was there…" He trailed off at the pained expressions of the women surrounding him. "I really was lost, wasn't I?"  
  
Tara nodded solemnly. "You were. But it's better now. C'mon. Let's get you to L.A. and get you cleaned up."  
  
Spike nodded, feeling slightly numb. "Is that where Buffy is?"  
  
"Yeah. And Dawn." Willow took his arm and began walking him down the road. "Do you wanna know what happened, you know, after?"  
  
Spike nodded, so Willow gave him the brief recap of all that had happened in the month he'd been gone. How the Hellmouth had collapsed--and taken the town with it. And how they'd all gone to L.A. to get some rest and relief from what had happened. She told him that they were all staying in the hotel that Angel owned--and had to quickly reassure him that he wasn't staying there unless he wanted to.  
  
And finally, as she was unlocking the door to the room at the Holiday Inn, she told him about the spell that she, Dawn and Angel had done to bring him back, because he couldn't move on from the Ghost Roads.  
  
They stepped into the room. "Angel helped you do a spell to resurrect me?" Spike was floored.  
  
"Yeah." Willow closed the door after Lucy drifted in. "And he gave us money to go buy you new clothes and stuff too."  
  
Spike was too surprised by Angel's uncharacteristic kindness toward him to even wonder if there was an ulterior motive behind his actions. He started to sink into the chair by the door, then froze mid-motion as he realized just how muddy he was. Carefully he stood back up.  
  
Willow noticed his actions and gestured him toward the bathroom. "You go hop in the shower and I'll have someone bring over some of the clothes we got for you."  
  
Spike nodded, and went to into the bathroom to do as she suggested. Willow, set down her crossbow, picked up the phone, and called Dawn at the Hyperion. Then she sat down to wait.  
  
After a few minutes, she looked at Lucy, who was "sitting" in the room's other chair. "Did we do the right thing?"  
  
"It felt right to me." 


	15. Chapter 14: Fear

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

**_Now  
_**  
Dawn couldn't ever remember being this afraid of Spike. Or ever really being afraid of Spike for that matter. Though she'd never known him back when he really was Sunnydale's Big Bad.  
  
She'd been about to say something to her sister, when Buffy had run off--had been standing right behind Spike at the time, in fact.   
  
"Buffy, wait!" Lucy had shouted. "This is Spike!"   
  
That had only made the Slayer run away faster. And it had really pissed Spike off when she had.  
  
When he'd turned from the door, he'd shoved her out of his way--and onto the floor--and stalked into the bathroom for his boots. She heard him swearing at Lucy, and heard Lucy say something back, but couldn't make out any of the "conversation." She'd been too stunned at Spike's rough treatment of her to even move.  
  
When he'd come back out of the bathroom, he'd grabbed Willow's crossbow off the desk by the phone. Then he'd hauled her up by one arm, and tossed her into the chair by the door.  
  
Spike had been in full game face when she looked up at him. "Don't you move from that spot until I get back, hear me?"  
  
Dawn had nodded frantically, not wanting to fuel his anger.  
  
After she'd nodded, Spike has stormed out of the room, slamming the door on his way.  
  
She had started crying almost immediately after he'd left. Her eyes were still puffy and red, and she found herself sniffling and fighting more tears.  
  
Now it was almost forty five minutes since he and Lucy had left to go find her sister and Dawn was beginning to worry. Her hand was poised over the phone to call Angel when she heard the knock on the door.  
  
She raced over to it, looking out of the peephole before opening it. She flung herself into her sister's arms as soon as she opened the door. "God, Buffy, I'm so glad you're all right."  
  
"Yeah, well, when I found her, she was about to be the best snack of some bloke's unlife." Spike glared at the Slayer, who still gripped one of his hands despite Dawn's exuberant embrace.  
  
"I was fine. That guy was about to be blowing in the wind," Buffy retorted.  
  
"Ha! Luv, you were so far off your game that it was back in Sunnyhell."  
  
Buffy tried to come up with a snappy rejoinder, and couldn't. She knew Spike was right. But both she and Dawn smiled at their banter.  
  
Spike handed her the crossbow when Dawn let her go. Buffy raised an eyebrow questioningly.  
  
"I need to talk to her alone." Gently, he pushed Dawn back into the hotel room. 


	16. Chapter 15: Pains

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, or the people and places therein. I also do not own the character of Lucy Hannover. I've borrowed them to write this fiction, which is just that and not a way to try to steal money from Joss and company.

* * *

_**Now--Inside Spike's Room  
**_  
"Dawn, I'm sorry," Spike told her after he'd shut the door.   
  
"Huh?" Dawn had been expecting just about anything but that from him. "Sorry for what?"  
  
"What do you mean for what? I'm sorry for how I treated you earlier." Spike put his hands on Dawn's shoulders. "You didn't do anything to deserve that. I wasn't angry with you."  
  
"I know that." She pulled him into a hug. "Don't worry, Spike. I forgive you."  
  
"Thanks." His eyes widened suddenly. "I didn't hurt you did I?"  
  
The teen shook her head. "Nah. Just scared me a lot. You looked really pissed off."  
  
Spike nodded somberly. "I was. She'd been drinking--did you know about that?" Dawn nodded, and he continued. "And then she ran off like that, alone and not all sober. It was like she was running from me, like it used to be, and that …it was just too much."  
  
"She was just majorly freaked that you were back. She wouldn't have run if she'd seen you after she got inside."  
  
"I know that, Bit. But it still hurt." 


	17. Chapter 16: Heartaches

A/N: Hi gang! please forgive the slew of teensie short chapters here. its all that whole transition/POV thing, so i broke it all up. sorry if it bugs you, but its my way. you should see my origonal drafts of this thing! ;-)

* * *

**_Now--Outside Spike's Room_**  
  
As soon as Spike closed the dorr, Buffy slumped against the wall and slid down it, all the strength she'd had leaving her. She felt tears welling up in her eyes again, but she didn't know if they were tears of joy or more pain.  
  
Quietly, so she wouldn't disturb Spike and Dawn, she began to cry again. She didn't notice Angel and Faith pull up outside Spike's room and get out of the car.  
  
She looked up sharply when she felt two strong hands wrap around her shoulders. Her hand groped blindly for the crossbow she'd dropped until her brain registered Angel's angry and worried face in front of heer.   
  
"Buffy, where's Spike? What did he do to you? Where's Dawn?" Some habits just couldn't be kicked, and Angel's ancient distrust of Spike must be one of them.  
  
Buffy blinked to clear the tears from her eyes and focus on Angel's face. "They-they're inside." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "But they--Angel, wait!"  
  
The ensouled vampire didn't give her the chance to finish her explaination. He'd kicked down the door to Spike's room before Buffy or Faith realized he'd moved. He didn't hear--or chose to ignore--Buffy's cry.  
  
Both Slayers felt sick as they looked at the spot on the sidewalk where the crossbow had been sitting. 


	18. Chapter 17: Disillusioned

**_Now--Inside Spike's Room_**  
  
Spike turned away from Dawn when the hotel room's door was imbedded in the wall. His arm snapped around and snatched the crossbow bold Angel fired at him from the air.  
  
Dawn screamed.  
  
"Bloody hell! What was that for?"  
  
Angle grabbed spike by his shirtfront and slammed him into the wall. "What did you do to buffy?"  
  
Spike was glad that his grandsire's glare couldn't incinerate him the way it promised to. "I didn't do a bloody thing to her!"  
  
Angel punched him. "What. Did. You. Do?"  
  
The younger vampire kneed his grandsire in the groin, causing Angel to lose his grip. "What are you talking about?" He slammed the elder vampire into the floor and pinned him there. The crossbow bolt he hadn't' let go of poked a hol in the elder vampire's shirt, just above his heart.  
  
Blue eyes glared into brown, both waiting a small eternity for the other to speak. Angel felt a growl of anger rise in his chest, answered by one from Spike. Their eternity stretched on, filled by the rumbling growls of the two master vampires.  
  
And then Spike felt two strong hands pull him off his grandsire and back several feet. He watched angrily as Buffy moved in to hold Angel back, and realized that one of the other Slayere-- _Probably Faith_--had come with Angel.

* * *

Angel fought against Buffy's restraining hands as Faith dragged Spike back. Why was she still protecting his grandchilde when he had obviously hurt her somehow? He growed more loudly when Faith let Spike go--and again as the younger vampire held out an arm to Dawn, who rushed into his embrace.  
  
His attention snapped back to his Slayer when Buffy slapped him nearly hard enough to bruise. His growl tapered off when he saw the hurt and betrayal in her eyes.  
  
Directed at him.  
  
"Spike didn't hurt me tonight, Angel." Several more tears slid from her eyes. "You did."

* * *

A/N: Ok, ok. so it was the obligatory Spike/Angel fight. Really now, who didn't see it coming? but for those of you who think i'm getting overly cliche think again. stuff hasn't even warmed up yet! 


	19. Chapter 18: Blow This Popcicle Stand

Angel didn't think he could have felt more shock if Buffy had staked him. Her words echoed inside his head. Spike didn't hurt me tonight Angel. You did  
  
Guilt washed over him as he realized that the dislike he'd always had for Spike had let him jump to the first, most wrong--and probably most jealous--conclusion: Spike had come back wrong and tried to hurt his Slayer.  
  
Angel blinked. When did she become my Slayer again? Then he realized that she'd never stopped being his Slayer--even when she'd been so distant after her resurrection.  
  
His mind flashed back to a conversation they'd had not long after he'd come back from Hell. The day that they'd decided that if they couldn't be "just friends" then they shouldn't be anthing at all.  
  
_ "You still my girl?" he'd asked.  
  
"Always."  
_  
And she really was, even if she'd moved on to other guys. Still his girl, his Slayer, his…soul mate. She'd reminded him of that when she kissed him in that tomb back in Sunnydale.  
  
He'd never--_ever_--wanted to hurt her. But he had. When he betrayed her trust by not telling her he was a vampire. When he'd spent the next several weeks afterward avoiding her. Dozens of times when he'd lost his soul. When he'd broken up with her, and then when he'd left. Thanksgiving that first year apart. When Faith came to L.A. The list really went on.  
  
And he'd done it again tonight--trying to destroy the little bit of happiness he'd helped give back to her by acting like a jeleous, territorial…vampire.  
  
He groaned and dropped his upper body back down to the floor.

* * *

Spike, Dawn and Faith watched the emotions play out across Angel's face in a quiet punctuated only by Dawn's occational sniffle. It was all the girl could do to keep from breaking into full fledged sobbing.  
  
She and Spike may not have been all that close over the last year or so (not counting the month he'd been dead), but he was still her best friend. And she'd nearly lost him again.  
  
The Powers only knew how it might have ended if only one Slayer had been here.  
  
She watched the fight go out of Angel as he slumped back to the floor. That gave her a relief that she couldn't describe. There was no way she could have watched him die again tonight. She clung to the blond vampire a little tighter, trying not to cry, as she thought of how she could have lost him a second time.  
  
It was Faith who finally broke the silence that Buffy's words had brought. "Angel, maybe we should go now. Let them have what's left of their reunion."  
  
Slowly, the elder vampire got to his feet. He swept his gaze from Buffy's to Faith's, then Dawn's before finally stopping at Spike's icy stare. His grandchilde may have had one arm wrapped protectively around Dawn, but his eyes promised a swift and thourough retribution if he so much as flinched in their direction.  
  
"You're right." He dropped his gaze in shame. "Let's go."  
  
He walked to the doorway, the paused, one hand resting on the frame; and looked back at the three people who's night of happiness he'd destroyed. "I'm sorry," he said, and walked out.  
  
Faith watched Buffy for a moment longer, concern written on here face. "You guys might want to bail before the cops get here. With all that noise someone was bound to call 'em. If you'll get me some of Spike's stuff, I'll take it to the Hyperion for you.."  
  
Spike nodded when Buffy didn't answer, and went to the dresser. He yanked out the two drawers that Willow and Dawn had placed his new clothes in, stacked them up and handed them to Faith. "You and Angel better get gone. I hear sirens."  
  
Faith nodded and left without antoher word. Spike grabbed the cup of blood Willow had left for him and dumped it on the floor. Then he grabbed his already trashed duster and dragged it through the mess, making a trail that led from the door to the curb outside. Dawn, following his lead, drug Buffy outside after him.  
  
Spike carried his duster until they came to a dumpster several blocks away. There, with a sad sigh at its loss, he tossed it in. But far, far better the duster than tehm.  
  
After another few blocks, Spike turned to Buffy, who'd been uncomfortably silent. "Luv, you're not mad at me, are you?"  
  
She blinked in surprise. "No! Why would I be mad at you?"  
  
"Dunno. You were just so quiet…and brooding."  
  
She smiled a little at that, and Spike felt relieved. "Angel has that effect on me sometimes. I was just dreading going back home."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Angel's been taking care of all of us."  
  
"Oh." That wasn't anything Red hadn't told him. Suddenly he grinned, a hint of the old more carefree Spike returning. "Guess you'll have to sneak me into your room then, luv.


End file.
